nothing but the truths

The truth is, I do like money. The thought of earning in 2 months what I would otherwise take 3 months is liberating. I could perhaps retire earlier and definitely get a mac earlier than never later. And I would definitely be able to change the tides of the monthly cashflow of 100$ - it really bothers me, pardon my microscopism.

The conflicting truth, however, is that I do like my current work and wonders if measuring it by its pay is an insult to the work. Though I do not hv the passion to die for, I do see a purpose and the noble cause does appeal to me. Perhaps it could be just that I like to think that I am noble. Or I would like to think that I just like to think that I'm noble so that I can eventually convince myself that my passion is fake and leave in peace. Ah, confusing. I know for sure though that I really do not like how the pay structure is so democratic that even the business students with no honours are drawing the same pay as me. It makes me feel crappy. It also makes me wonder if I'm actually over-qualified for the jobs that they have intended for our positions. As in, can I possibly do more than this? I think I can do much more. At least I imagined it to b so. PTB does give me some responsibilities which are interesting and keep me busy thinking and analysing. Yet, no matter how much I believe in my work, the eternal truth also is, work is ultimately work. You can't really expect to enjoy work. So it really doesn't matter where you work..? You've got to be paid reasonably for the work you do no matter what.

The secret truth I would like to disclose is that I'm actually excited and sort of want to work at DiSO cos gay is gonna b there. I know this is really dumb. but yknow it's gay. like even if we don't get to work tog, we can go eat cakes and talk rubbish like everyday if we are both there. but of cos she's doing phd, so will not always be there. which is good. just in case i do ever get sick of her. hahah.

The final truth is that I really do not want to shut a door on myself and then only to let it play on my mind futile-ly in future. At least I would have tried. I just pray that I do not take things into my own hands and make some silly decisions to regret forever. I do not intend to get stuck somewhere nowhere - worst case scenario. Should that happen, it'll b time to grab a guy off the street and just get married liao.